Luke turns 4!

Last weekend we celebrated Luke's 4th birthday. He totally enjoyed himself and couldn't stop smiling and singing the whole weekend. Erik's parents were here and we had a family celebration on Friday followed by a party with some of Luke's friends at McDonalds on Sunday. His volcano cake was made by a friend of mine and was a real hit, causing great delight when it erupted!

Independence or Inter-dependence: Thoughts on Community

It was 7am this past Sunday morning when the phone rang. I knew before answering that it would be Erik. He was gone for the weekend, doing an art fair over the mountains in Grand Lake, and would be touching bases with me before starting his busy day.

“Jo, I’ve got a slight problem,” were some of his first words to me. “I’m calling from a public phone about a mile from my campsite and am walking into town (another 3 miles further). The van battery has died and so I need you to come over and jump start it.” This particular problem had happened several times before with our 1983 Dodge Ram van and a cable jump start would be all it needed to get it going. Erik needed his van to pack up all his large art pieces and art fair tent after the show had finished that day.

I had already been planning to make the 1 ½ hour drive through beautiful Rocky Mountain National Park over the Continental Divide to Grand Lake that day along with Luke and a friend . I checked that my friend was familiar with jump starting cars (since I wasn’t!) and off we set. We drove the 50 miles over the high mountain pass in stormy, rainy weather, but had a good time chatting and catching up since we’d last seen each other. On arriving in Grand Lake, we went directly to the van, attached the jump cables and started the engines. Thirty minutes later the van still stubbornly refused to start. We tried many different things, but eventually concluded that the dangerous sparks flying out of the engine were a sign of something more serious that we weren’t able to deal with.

The problem was what to do with the huge van load of large wall pieces and art fair equipment and how to get it all back home without a van. My friend called her husband back in Estes Park, and he dropped everything, came over in his pickup and towed the van to a more suitable parking place. We then proceeded to try and load as much as possible in his much smaller vehicle. This whole process took all afternoon and evening and we eventually arrived home at 11pm at night.

This whole experience started me thinking about community. To my surprise, it was incredibly difficult to be so needy and dependent on our friends, albeit close friends. They gave up special plans they had that evening to help us and sacrificed some much needed sleep as well, since they had been up very late with travel the night before and were to be up again very early the next day. Life seems good when things go well and we don’t have to ask for help or rely on others for anything. It feels wrong when we can’t do it by ourselves, when we have to admit we’re needy. But I wonder… I wonder if this is how it’s meant to be.

Independence is highly valued in America. It is especially valued in Estes Park. People come from all over the country to live here in seclusion in the mountains and pride themselves on their ability to live life without relying on others. This is not the way in many cultures of the world. Albania is a case in point. We lived there for 6 years and at times the lack of privacy and solitude was very difficult for us. Yet when I look back on that time, I realized that the Albanians and also we foreigners that lived there had learned something very valuable. We are INTER-dependent, not independent. I believe that this is the way God created us to be. No one person has everything they need to make it. Community is not just a nice idea, it’s essential to survival. We need each other. During the communist years, people needed each other just to live through each day, just to get food, just to meet their basic needs. You needed friends or family to stand in line for you to get bread. You needed friends in different places simply to get a phone line. You needed friends who worked in the clothing factory to get you shoes. After communism there remains a strong reliance on others, a close inter-connectedness. The idea that someone could go through life without help would be ludicrous. Everyone needs help. Being rich doesn’t make you immune to life’s problems there. Your water can still go out and you’ll need to shower every day at a friend’s house. Your electricity can be off for 2 months and you’ll have to rely on others to help with your laundry. Your possessions could be stolen and you’d find yourself borrowing even basic things from others. There is no shame in this dependence. It’s just life.

We also had a van in Albania that broke down. Some of you may remember the story. We were moving to an isolated northern mountain town and were returning the van to those from whom we had borrowed it in Tirana. We were on an isolated road when, with a very loud bang, the gear box fell out, clear through the floor. There was nothing to be done. Our team mate, Paul, hitchhiked with the last passing car from the ferry we had just taken to the nearest town about 3 hours away. He then called friends in Tirana that owned a tow truck. Several hours later they arrived, tried to tow us then broke down themselves. It was a memorable experience. Looking back, I don’t remember any awkwardness or embarrassment in asking for help. And there was no reluctance on the part of our friends to help. There was no feeling terrible at what we had to put them through. In fact we were overjoyed to see their truck coming in the distance on its way to help us. This is what you did. You helped each other. We were not always on the receiving end. We also had numerous opportunities to sacrifice our own time, resources, energy, skills, to help others. And others did the same for us. We were family. We were community. We were connected. We needed each other. We knew it. We accepted it.

In America and other Western nations, we are often not aware of our need and we deprive ourselves of the gift of community. In reality this is a broken and messy world. You couldn’t hide from that fact in Albania. It was obvious every day. As a foreigner, one of the first and hardest lessons you learned was that you had very little control over your surroundings, very little control over events in your day. You could make plans, but usually had very little say or influence in how they turned out. And as foreigners living in a foreign culture, you realized that you needed others, not only to survive physically, but to survive spiritually, emotionally and psychologically as well, with life’s intense pressures.

So even though life is in many ways easier here and the beauty of our surroundings is something that we only dreamed about in the Balkans, I often miss Albania and Kosovo. I miss the strong friendships forged through hardship, hardship that brought out a very beautiful and precious gift – the gift of people of all personalities, nationalities, social status and backgrounds, living inter-dependently in community. Here in America I love my washer and dryer, the convenient and overflowing grocery stores, the easy availability of everything you could possibly ever need or want, the constant electricity and hot water, the nice roads and easy communications – but it can feel lonely and disconnected.

Community is not just a nice idea, it’s a deep core need. We may muffle it with comfort, ease, “stuff”. But we’re missing something vital. Something we desperately require to survive and flourish. We were never meant to go it alone. Others have talents, gifts, persectives, strengths, etc we need. We have talents, gifts, perspectives, strengths, they need. That’s the way God planned it. That’s just the way it is.

A new look

We had Keifer groomed yesterday to help the shedding problem and make him more able to deal with the summer heat. We weren't quite prepared for the result.

(And apparently, dogs don't like to be laughed at!)

Mid-Summer Update

As I write this, Luke is playing happily with Keifer (our dog - see post below). We've had a little training to do (with dog and boy!) but everyone is adjusting well. Having a dog is good for me as it gets me out walking a couple of times a day.

I was dreading the summer at first, not knowing how I would occupy Luke during the long summer days, especially as this is Erik's busiest time and he's gone a lot, but it hasn't gone too badly at all. We've been doing swimming lessons, playdates, storytimes and walks. Next week Luke has summer school for 4 mornings with the teacher he'll have at preschool in September. We're both looking forward to that :) On our family days we usually go out for a hike together and Luke is collecting patches for all the hikes he's been doing in the National Park. Here's Luke wearing his Dad's hiking shoes!

Some of you know that Erik badly injured his ankle about 3 months ago when he slipped on ice high up on the mountain. He had to hike back 5 miles to the car on his injured foot and since then has had a lot of pain and swelling. An x-ray didn't reveal a break but after several weeks of no improvement we decided he should see an orthopedic specialist. The specialist only spent a few minutes with him and told him he couldn't tell him anything without an MRI (which is very costly). However, he did tell Erik he could still walk on it and probably not damage it further. This was a green light for Erik who had been housebound and frustrated for many weeks, and the next day he hiked several miles up and down mountains (not sure if this is quite what the doctor meant by "walk on it"!) and since has been back to his normal hiking/photographing summer routine. This means he's out often very early in the morning or late at night in the backcountry. Gallery hours are also longer since the summer tourist season is in full swing, but we're glad to have Bryan, our friend and co-worker, who works with us and relieves the burden of the summer schedule. There has been a great deal of interest in Erik's work this year. Several of his images are going to be used to decorate a new luxury hotel being built in Denver and the gallery is often packed full of people, but we are noticing that the economic situation or recession as some are calling it, is affecting sales quite significantly. We are not the only ones to be affected, but since we are selling a luxury item, perhaps feeling it more than some. We are holding it all with open hands (or at least trying to!) and will see what the remainder of the summer holds.

We still continue to meet with our close group of friends once a week at our home, discussing books, life's issues, faith, the Bible, etc. We're growing closer together and enjoying this small community that we have where we can be honest and real (and laugh a lot too!). We are also enjoying the little neighborhood where we live. We have some great neighbors who have also become our friends and Luke often plays with the other kids in the street.

As we look back and look forward, we have a lot to be thankful for!

A new family member

Meet Keifer, our new family member!

We had been thinking about getting a dog for a few months and had been looking at the local animal shelters for "the perfect dog". One day Luke and I (Jo) met Keifer. He wasn't the type of dog I normally go for, but his personality was so amazing that I was drawn to him right away. He was playful, yet calm and very affectionate. I dragged Erik down to the shelter the following day (a 50 minute drive) and he agreed that Keifer was the one for us! We picked him up 2 days later, last Saturday 5th July. As soon as we walked inside our home, instead of exploring his new environment, Keifer just turned to me and started licking me, as if to say "thank you!!!!".

The shelter had said Keifer was 7 years old, but this turned out to be a typo. The vet confirmed yesterday that he is between 1 and 2 years old and is in great health! He's a fun dog, easy to take on walks, playful and soft and cuddly. It's been a learning curve for an, active, noisy preschooler to learn how to behave around a dog, but he's learning fast and enjoying him immensely. Having a dog does make life more challenging, but so far it's worth it!

Hope in Heaven?

About 8 years ago, God started me on a journey (and I’m still on it!). Erik and I were living in Tirana, Albania. We were at home one winter morning when we had a knock at the door. An Albanian friend, usually smiling and happy, was there with a grave look on his face. He told us something was wrong with Paul. Paul had been Erik’s close friend for 15 years and had come out to work with us in Albania 4 years earlier. Erik quickly went with our friend and I prayed but couldn’t shake a sense of foreboding. It wasn’t long before Erik called me to tell me that Paul, at age 34, had very suddenly collapsed and died in his wife’s arms just an hour before.

I went over right away to be with his wife and when I saw Paul’s body empty of life, I felt empty and hollow. During the weeks following, I dealt with the normal shock and grief, but there was also a darkness engulfing my heart. In the busyness of arranging his funeral and all the visits and obligations that go with death in Albanian culture and looking after Paul’s wife and 2 children I managed to set aside the despair I was feeling. But soon I could no longer deny what was going on inside. Before Paul’s death, I had never really had to think about death and I came to realize, that even though a believer, when it came to life-after-death, I could almost be called an agnostic. Paul’s death had exposed the doubt and fear hidden away in the recesses of my heart.

We took a month sabbatical in Tennessee not long after that and I set myself the goal of learning what I could about what the Bible says about death. I discovered that the apostle Paul has a LOT to say about death, but not in hollow, empty or despairing terms. Quite the contrary:

1 Cor 2:9 “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.”

In Galatians, Paul says: that to die is gain.

The one that I really stumble on is Colossians 3:1 which tells us to set our hearts on things above because our life is hidden with Christ in God. To be honest, I may have paid lip service to the greatness of heaven, but my heart was firmly settled on earth, to fulfillment here and now, to my desires and what I expected this earth to give me. So when Paul died, I was shaken because my heart was nowhere near heaven.

I didn’t realize at first, but Albania had something else to teach me about death. During the 50 years of the strongest communism the world has ever known (1941-1991), Albanians were almost completely shut off from the outside world. They lived in poverty but were told that they were the richest nation on earth. It sounds unbelievable to us and we wonder how anyone could be taken in, but they believed it. There was decay and ugliness all around, but they were told that they lived in paradise. And they believed it. Once in a while someone went to the West and came back. They were not allowed to tell of what they saw, or the gulag was the penalty, but hints of another and much better world outside sometimes filtered through. When the country finally opened in 1991, and the outside world broke in, people realized they had been duped. Instead of being the richest country in the world, they were in fact one of the poorest. Their country had nothing compared to the riches and glory of the countries around. People were shocked and disillusioned.

As I was grappling with the question of death, it came to me with startling clarity one day that this was a comparison of my own attitude to this world and heaven. I had believed the messages that this was paradise, that I should be able to find fulfillment here, that this was it - this life was as good as it got. Like the Albanians, I would sometimes get hints that there existed something beyond, infinitely greater, more wonderful… but I didn’t quite believe it. (I’m sure I’ll wonder how I could ever have been taken in).

John Eldredge in Journey of Desire said:
“If for all practical purposes, we believe that this life is our best shot at happiness, if this is as good as it gets, we will live as desperate, demanding & eventually despairing men and women. We will place on this world a burden it cannot bear.”

At the time Paul died, this was where I was living and sometimes now I find myself back there. I struggled to get out of this life what I thought it needed to give me. I had to get fulfillment right now in relationships, in ministry, and even my longings for certain material things became a source of striving and discontent. I had duped myself. Just like the Albanians, my heart had settled on a broken, imperfect world when there was something far greater just beyond the borders.

This broken world is not heaven. We can be deceived into thinking it is, especially here in beautiful Estes Park, And society is constantly telling us there’s an American Dream or a perfect life out there and if I just work hard enough I can live it here and now. But our souls, if we listen carefully, will tell us differently. Last summer Erik and I hiked to Sky Pond. It was probably the most beautiful, tranquil and heavenly place I have ever been. I took time to drink it in, to talk with the Lord there and it was an amazing, beautiful, unforgettable experience. Yet, even though I was happy and thankful for this time, something in me couldn’t get enough and even with all that beauty, there was a yearning, something remained unsatisfied. We were created by God for something so much more even than Sky Pond and my soul knew it.

Romans 8 says: “We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth, right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit (glimpses), groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”

The apostle Paul knew this, experienced this. He didn’t have it all now. He groaned, he waited, he longed, he hoped.

So what does this mean? If I know for a certainty that that my desires for comfort, adventure, perfect intimacy with those I love, will in heaven be fully fulfilled, then I don’t need strive to fulfil them now. I am no longer desperate and despairing. As a woman and now a mom, I feel that there are gifts that I will never get a chance to fully use, things on my heart to do. But one day in heaven my skills, talents, who God has made me to be will be used and fulfilled – to his glory, Sometimes relationships disappoint us. One day it occurred to me that friendships will be right in heaven and I would enjoy the other person and visa versa in the way we were meant to – forever! For many years, I had a deep unfulfilled longing for my own home. A few years ago I was touring beautiful model homes in Arizona with my mother in law and feeling the longings all over again (why did I do this to myself??!). Then the Lord spoke to me and said one day you’ll have a beautiful home, even more beautiful than this, maybe not here on this earth, but you will have it. This didn’t make the desire go away, but it gave me peace because one day it would be fulfilled. John Eldredge. said “Contentment is not the absence of desire (and I would add nor the fulfillment of desire here and now) but desire at rest.” So an eternal perspective puts the present struggles, disappointments, longings in perspective and sets my heart at rest.

As I said at the beginning, I’m still on this journey. I still sometimes forget what’s ahead, that there’s something more wonderful, far greater than I have yet imagined. My vision is still at times limited to the borders of this world. I am often tempted to fear. I cling to that which won’t satisfy, letting my desires for things here overtake my heart, but I can remember and choose to fix my heart on things above, for my life, my true life is hidden with Christ in God. And I can look forward, eagerly, hopefully, patiently to full restoration, to complete fulfillment, to my full adoption as God’s child, to the inconceivably wonderful things that God has prepared for me and all those who love him.

Those God Chooses

My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet," have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? But you have insulted the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? Are they not the ones who are slandering the noble name of him to whom you belong? If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.

James 2:1-9

Many of you know I worked in Albania as a missionary. For 2 of the 6 years, we worked in an isolated mountain town that was governed by very ancient and strict societal laws and regulations. Our missionary and enculturation training had taught us that we should learn all we could about the culture into which we went and respect it. We should find the influential and respected people in society and build friendships with them, with the idea that their influence, if they came to Christ, would in turn bring others to Christ, so seeing a whole people movement. So this is what we did. As foreigners with a special message to bring, we wanted to be respected, believing that it would in turn give respect to the Gospel in this Muslim nation.

We lived on the 4th floor of an apartment building with just 2 other apartments on our floor. In one of them lived an older lady (actually, I think she may have been quite young, but life's harshness was etched in deep lines on her face). She was the town prostitute. She was shunned by respectable people. She didn't seem to have any friends. This was a town where gossip reigned. Everyone knew everyone else's business. People were watching everything we did. We would have been labeled “immoral” at the merest hint of association with her. So we didn't befriend her – we didn't befriend her because we were afraid of bringing Christ's name into bad repute because of the gossip and lies that would have spread around town if we had associated with her.

I think Christ would have been her friend. I think she would have been the first person he would have sought out when he arrived in town. I think he would have sat and waited near the path to the store where she would quickly go at dusk to buy necessary groceries before hurrying back to hide at home and he would have engaged her in conversation in full view of everyone. He would have looked her in the eyes and given her honor and love. I don't think he would have cared one iota for what people thought.

Somehow, I also don't think Christ would have felt a need to bolster up his own reputation by associating with the “respectable” people in town. I don't think Christ would have been quite as anxious as we probably were to become friends with those who had power or position. When I look back at my time in that small town in Albania, I know Jesus would have sought out a lonely and despised prostitute.

Because the NT was written two thousand ago in a different time and culture than ours, we often miss the radicalness and provocativeness of Jesus and how his words, values and actions are often diametrically opposed to ours. In his friendship with Mary and Martha, we miss the fact that he befriended mere village women and actually invested his time teaching them (what good was that? How would that be multiplied or have a wide impact?); in the story of the woman at the well, we can miss the fact that he went out of his way to go through and stop in an area called Samaria that Jews avoided like the plague to talk to one of these hated people, who happened to be a mere woman, who was also a promiscuous woman. We don't get how shocked good people were when Jesus not only singled out Zaccheus for friendship, who was despised by these good people for his collusion with the Romans, but then went to his house and partied with him and all his tax-collector friends; in his dialogue with the religious leaders, we could miss how little he cared about garnering the respect of the people everyone looked up to in society, those who had influence. The gospels are full of these incidences where Jesus broke the rules, went to places where good people didn't go and hung out with people who were nothing, overlooked or rejected.

To my shame, I don't do this. I am needy: “needy” of people's respect. I “need” to associate with intelligent, successful, popular, attractive people, people of position. I have this inner need to strengthen my self-image by the type of important friends I keep. I did not make friends with a lonely prostitute.

Romans 12: 2 “Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

The pattern of this world is to honor those with money, those with position, those with intellect, respectable people. God's will is that we associate with the immoral, the weak, the looked down upon, those that are weird or “different”, those that can't do anything to augment our own reputation or self-image. God's will is that we show them favor and honor.

“Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him”(James 2:5).

Joanna

These are the questions I ask myself:

• What kind of people today where I live are looked down upon?

• Is there any discrimination in my thoughts towards anyone?

• Who might Jesus have me befriend?